I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
