I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
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