If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
