K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
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