no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
