S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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