All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
As shirtless as possible
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
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