I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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