so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
