It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
