We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I can't turn off my feet"
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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