in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
