last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
We're using joints as your birthday candles
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
