i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
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