my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
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