Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
