I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Randomize
