just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Randomize
