Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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