now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
