it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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