any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
