Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
