He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
