Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
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