I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
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