Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
