That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
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