Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
