it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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