Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Randomize
