definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Randomize
