Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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