12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize