Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
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