i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
