If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
Slut skills are useful in every country.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
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