he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
Randomize
