Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
now i know why i became what i already was.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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