I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize
