Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
