they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Randomize
