so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Randomize
