i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
