Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
She even gives head with a lisp.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
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