before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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