I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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