Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
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