Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
