I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
