Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
